Skip to main content

Pissclam scams the wrong old lady and lives to tell and eat



One day a guy stops my grandmother in the street and asks her if she wants to buy a brand new color television. 25 inch, and  with a remote for pennies, $150.My grandmother tells the guy to carry it over her house and she'll give him the money. He carries it up, puts it in the living room. My grandmother gets her purse and gives the guy the money. She turns for 1 second and the guy's gone.
I'm 15, my brother his 14. We live upstairs.She calls us to help her get the TV out of the box (This was the 70's). We open up the the box and what do we find" Bricks! About 10 of them. He scammed her good.
I get on the phone and call my uncle Gino (her son)
"Hey uncle Gino, some bastard scammed grandma. He told her it was a new TV and it's a pile of bricks"
"I'll be right there" He had to see it for himself I guess
He's there in 5 minutes. He looks at in the box, he picks up a brick and looks at it then silently walks over the phone. Now most people get scared when they know someones pissed and they're screaming. My uncle's silence was scarier than the roar of a lion shot in the ass with a dart.
He goes to the kitchen, picks up the phone and dials a number.
"Hey Vin, somebody scammed my mother a little while with a box of bricks that was supposed to be a TV. Ok, I know you'll help me out. I'm having dinner here. I'll wait" and calmly hangs up the phone.
My grandmother goes to him "Gino, don't do nothing. It was only $150"
He smiles at her nice and sweetly and pinches her cheek. Smiling, calm, pinching cheeks. Oh shit, I'm going to watch someone get whacked.

Grandma cooking, me , my brother and my uncle Gino are watching television on the old black and white. All of a sudden there's a light knock on the door. Me and my brother jump up terrified. My uncle slowly gets up and opens the door.
"Hey Pissclam how you doing?"my uncle asks nonchalantly
"GINO! MY GOD I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS YOUR MOTHER! I SWEAR TO GOD". He says "I swear to God" over and over again. He's about 25, thin as a rail from drugs,white as a ghost, sweating like a thoroughbred , white hair stuck to his face from the sweat. Looking at his face you know he didn't get that nickname due to weak bladder. He looked more like a pissclam than a pissclam should.
"Pissclam, come inside" my uncle tells him
"But Gino I have the money here! Please please let me go!"
"Listen Tommy my mother and my two young nephews are in there. I ain't gonna do nothing in front of them"
Pissclam walks in sees my grandmother "Ms. Mascia I swear I didn't know it was you. Here's the money" He hands my my mother the money. She looks at him then the money and puts it in her sweater pocket. "Please count it miss Mascia!" Tommy cries
My grand mother looks at the pathetic guy and says "No, I don't think that will be necessary"
"Tommy I believe you when you say you didn't say you didn't knew it was my mother. She didn't get hurt, she got her money back so we're good. But now that you know who she is if it ever happens again they'll be adding a nickname to you: Pissclam of the Sea".
I think that was the first time I heard Pissclam exhale since he got there. "Gino on my father's grave! Please! Please. Never. NEVER!"
"Ok" my uncle said as he reaches in his pocket. All of us stiffen. My uncle pulls out a $10 bill.
"Those bricks are actually nice. I'll use them for my fire place" and he hands Tommy the money who of course declines until he looks at my uncle's face and decides better to take the money.
He turns to leave but stops. "Ms. Mascia I really am sorry" with tears flowing. He turn back towards the door.
"Hey Tommy. Are you hungry?" my grandmother asks him. He turns around and sort of says nothing but shrugs his shoulders.
"Come on. Pull up a chair and have dinner"
And that's the story of the night my family and Tommy Pisclam had dinner together

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Israel's Unique way of spoiling paradise for martyrs

Imagine your a supposedly successful suicide bomber in Israel. "Ah, my contribution to the destruction against those damned Jews is done" you shout in glee.And there before you are your beautiful 72 virgins, all ready and willing to grant you anything your evil heart desires. You choose one and approach her. She begins to disrobe. You reach out to touch her! All of a sudden someone taps you on the back. You turn and to your horror and see that it is Satan himself in all his malevolent glory with a big smile on his face. "Before you start to enjoy yourself look up, there's something I want you to see" states The Prince of Darkness with a booming laugh". With a sickly feeling of terror (no pun intended)  you look up what do you see? Your family, father, mother, siblings, pet hamster all being dragged from their home. screaming, fighting, pleading but to no avail. Next you hear a rumble and over the hill comes a bulldozer.Within minutes its job is done, your…

Breaking News Update: National Parks: Strange Disappearances Especially Children That Vanish Into Thin Air

This is a post I had written several weeks ago. Well Breaking News: CNN reporting that a child has been found after being lost in the woods for 3 days. Incredibly the child told authorities A BEAR! kept him company the entire time!
Since the inception of the National Park System was established more than 140 years ago our parks have grown from 1 to 450. They represent millions of square mile of scenic beauty, quiet, and escape into solitude. You can also swim, hike and disappear. Disappear? That's right, disappear into thin air. Not only adults but especially little children many of whom all it takes is a parent to bend and tie their shoe, look up and the child is gone. Not just gone but disappeared. Calling the child's name frantically, running in circles, screaming, nothing works. I means how far can a 3 year old child go so quickly? How about if I were to tell you 5 miles away, up a shear cliff, dead and stuffed in a tree?
Or there you are walking down a clear path on a br…

Trump Elected With Help From Pelosi and Schumer

Although it is obvious that Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer and others seethe at the very idea that Donald Trump is President of The United States but what they don't get is that they are some of the main forces behind Trumps victory! The American people got tired of the herd of political hypocrites, liars, thieves and just plain bums that were running our government. Americans got tired of all the indecent sobs that claimed empathy with the "people", like Nancy Pelosi who's $140,000 salary has miraculously mushroomed into a $200,000,000 fortune. Schumer, who spoils every Sunday morning with some inane announcement of outrage regarding, who knows, the ice at Rockefeller Center is really is 32.1 degrees instead of 32 degrees and vows to use every thing in his power to see that the perpetrators are brought to justice.
Americans have been getting sicker and sicker of the fact that their government was not for the people but for themselves. What American felt any, any ki…