One night I'm hanging out in this club, after hours joint. Wasn't one of my native joints. Crowd of wanna be wiseguys with an actual wise guy mixed in here and there. Having a cool time. Comes about 4:30 am, got a few drinks in me ( feeling good amount, not stumbling drunk). I turn at the bar and accidentally knock a drink over. The guy who was the owner of the drink, a guy we called "Ghost" takes umbrage at me spilling his drink. He pushes me, I push him back but level heads step in and it's stopped before anything serious starts. I walk away, again apologize and go over to the other end of the bar and order a drink. I kept up my awareness because these weren't the most evolved group of people you'd usually find yourself hanging out with.
As I'm sipping my drink I'm looking away from Ghost but not really looking away. I see him whisper into one guys ear, than another, then two more. All now are giving me glances that are not designed for bowl rest. And they're hanging out right by the door. Being no Bruce Lee the the only way to defend myself was to run. No chance there. "Shit", I say to myself "I got a problem". Most of the people there I would call acquaintances, not friends so no cavalry for me. So the only choice I had was to do what I always did when I was in trouble: I called my Uncle Gino.
Phone rings about 4 times and he picks up.
"Hello and why the fuck are you calling me" (this was before caller ID)
"Uncle Gino" I answer 'I think I got a problem"
"What's the matter!(it was not a question) and where the fuck are you?" in a much more awake tone of voice
"I'm at the Geep shop" (Geep was a term we used for right-off-the-boat Italians). Told him what happened and what I was expecting.
I swear prior to this phone call I never had heard a human growl in my life.
"Give the phone to the bartender". He actually growled, I swear.
I wave over the bartender over and handed him the phone. He looked at me with a quizzical look, languid as a wet noodle. Suddenly he's standing at attention like Patton was on the other end.
"Gino wha...' he didn't finish the sentence before he started babbling over and over "Yes Gino! Yes Gino! No problem Gino he'll be right next to me!". He hangs up the phone, grabs me by the arm leads me to the farthest corner of the bar and tells me "Please! Don't move from this fucking spot"
I don't know what's going on and I'm definitely far from comfortable. I ask the bartender for something to drink. He brings me a coke. And I sit there and wait.
The place was packed and from my vantage point I can't see anything. I just sit there expecting a punch flying from the right, the left, the back. My head already hurts. About ten minutes go by and the place goes fuck silent immediately. "Oh shit, here it come" and I turn my back towards the wall. The first thing I notice is people are hurry to make a path for someone, or a few through the crowd straining my neck and to both my amazement and incredible relief is my uncle's head. As he get closer I can see why the crowd parted. He's wearing two different shows, a black pair of pants and a white wife beaters tee shirt. He has a 9mm in a shoulder holster on the right, another on the left, another 9mm tucked into his pants on the left and a big revolver on the right.
I look up at him he sees me. He raises his right hand and crooks his index finger "Hey you! Come over here". Up like a shot I run to him like he was Jesus and I was gonna wash His feet"
He grabs me under the arm and starts pulling me toward the door. He stops when he gets to Ghost and his band of Merry men. I don't know why his nickname was Ghost but, man he turned so white he really looked like one.
Real close and with a real low voice he speaks right in Ghost's face
"Ghost. You got a problem with my nephew here". My uncle knew everyone
"Hey Gino, I'm sorry" Ghost starts pleading, "I swear I didn't know he was your nephew" I can tell if he's perspiring or he's peeing like an unmanned fire hose"
My uncle goes on "And these 4 pricks around you. Do they have a problem? Because if they do we can all go outside and settle it? Ghost goes to turn to look at his backup. They were fucking gone!
My uncle then says 'I guess we don't have a problem here then"
"No Gino. No probl..." and before he could finish my uncle smacks him with his right hand. Another first for me. Never saw a guy knocked out by a smack. My uncle grabs me by the arm "Come on" and he leads me out the door and into his car.
He turns to me "You hang out in that place with those fucking imbeciles" with a look of disgust on his face.
Shaking myself I say no. Immediately he starts yelling at me "So your hanging out in a place you have no friends, you don't know anybody with a bunch of douche bags?". I shake myself my head in the affirmative.
He pulls the car over and points a finger in my voice and says "I ever find out you go in there again it's gonna be Ghost, his 4 scumbags AND ME kicking the shit out of you"
In a low, weak voice I respond " Never again'
He pulls up to my families apartment building "Go ahead. Go upstairs. Meet me at my house about 7 o'clock. Dress nice. We'll hang out". Relieved "Ok Uncle Gino. Thanks" "Go ahead. Get the fuck upstairs" he shouts out the window as he screeches away